Dangermike

My friend Dangermike from grad school just did me the honor of linking to my site on his blog, so I thought I'd do the same for him. Here it is. Try it out—you'll like it. His blog contains all sorts of sardonic commentaries on life, the universe, and that jackass at work who is sick but won't go home, even though he's coughing incessantly and getting phlegm all over your keyboard.

Pink Hair

I have pink hair now. Why pink, you ask? Mine is not to reason why; mine is but to do and blow-dry.

Roman Roads

Gas is officially more expensive than college. Until that hydrogen car becomes a reality or the Prius comes down a bit in price, the rest of us will have to make do with walking. (Ali G pitched the idea of a hover board to some executives not long ago, but I don't think anything came of it.) In the mean time, I think we should follow the example of the Romans and build us some decent roads for walking. For those of you who are not as old as I am, this is how you build a Roman road: 1) put a layer of stones on the bottom; 2) a layer of pebbles, sand, and cement goes on top of that; 3) add some other kind of cement mixed with broken tiles; and 4) add another row of smooth stones that are cut to fit together without poking through your sandals. Sounds easy, huh? I expect you all to try this. Go ahead—you can fashion your own via Domitiana from things you have in your garden. Of course, if you build a Roman road to your neighborhood grocery store, you'll probably be violating some silly local ordinance. Just pay off your local official like a dutiful citizen and everything will be fine. You can probably even persuade him or her to start a Roman road construction project on a city-wide scale. I've already come up with a project slogan, too. "Roman Roads—the Wave of the Future Borrowed from Your Past, Unless You Are Non-European or the Kind of Communist Who Prefers to Emulate the Han Empire." Just remember your three R's, kids. Roman Roads Rock!

Scrubs

I like the show Scrubs.

Alaska

Drill Alaska now! We weren't using those caribou anyway.

Still Passionate After All These Years

Darling Mel's re-release of The Passion, his 2004 docudrama about JC (not Johnny Cash), will hit theaters on Friday. It's called—no kidding—"The Passion Recut." The original "Passion" grossed more than $370 million in the United States alone, but it also grossed a bunch of people out, so Mel has released this new version with much of the gore and blood spatters removed. When asked for comment, Gibson replied, "I like me some gore, but I understand there are some wusses who prefer lightweight hippie drivel." Gibson's next project will be working with Rob Zombie on House of a Thousand Corpses: Part Deux.