I saw a dog driving a car yesterday.

Okay, so I didn't actually see it driving, but I did see it sitting in the driver's seat of a Jeep Cherokee outside a convenience store. It was a big old Great Dane, and I could tell from the ears that it was pretty alert, which is a good quality when you're driving. In fact, that dog probably drives better than most people in town.

I have to confess. Before yesterday, I never thought much about this topic. And my perception of their abilities may have been hampered by witnessing the disastrous mishaps of Toonces the Driving Cat. But really, what's to stop them?

There are, of course, good and bad points to dogs getting behind the wheel.

Pros:

1. Most dogs have already been to obedience school, so taking turns at a four-way stop is no problem.
2. Because they can't separate the digits on their paws, they're much less likely to flip you the bird.
3. Great peripheral vision makes them naturals at negotiating roundabouts.
4. They can jump into the car through the window, just like Bo and Luke Duke.
5. They know better than to chew on a rawhide bone while driving.
6. Through the power of eugenics, we can raise more of the good drivers and weed out the bad ones. Too bad there isn't a comparable system for humans.
7. They can smell an accident a mile away. Literally.

Caveats:

1. Smaller dogs will need a booster seat. Old English Sheepdogs will have to wear barrettes to keep the fur out of their eyes.
2. Dogs may initiate a game of fetch whenever someone throws a piece of litter from the window of another car. This could be problematic during rush hour.
3. Dogs are red-green color blind. Oops.
4. A dog's view of the road may be impaired by his insistence on driving with his head hanging out the window.
5. They do not have the kind of swagger and attitude needed to become NASCAR drivers.
6. Genetic memory may remind dogs what it was like for their Great Uncle Bowser to ride an elephant in the circus, and the resulting nostalgia could make them too emotional to drive.
7. Sudden licking of the groin area may cause a wreck.