For the past few weeks, Nick has been growing his facial hair into a goatee (or, as our friend calls it, a van Dyke). I've been monitoring him carefully just in case any sinister behavior crops up.

Have you noticed that facial hair is out of vogue in politics? A clean-shaven chin is de rigueur these days, whichever side of the aisle you happen to be seated on. Bush has no facial hair, Kerry is sans beard, and then there is the glabrous Dick Cheney, whose smooth jowls put baby bottoms everywhere to shame. What of Al Gore, you ask? Well, keep in mind that it was only after the 2000 election that Albert grew that Grizzly Adams wilderness beard. Is this anti-hirsutist attitude predicated on a perception that facial hair somehow represents untrustworthiness? Does a small grouping of whiskers give people the impression that something unpleasant is being covered up? Let's examine this for a moment.

15 People with Facial Hair, and Whether or Not They are Evil

1. Jimi Hendrix—not evil
2. Jerry Garcia—too mellow to be evil
3. Sam Elliott—somewhat evil, but in that roguish cowboy sort of way
4. Abraham Lincoln—not evil
5. Kenny Rogers—hard to say
6. Kenneth Branaugh in Wild Wild West—evil
7. Rasputin—Svengali! (evil)
8. FDR—not evil
9. The psycho guy in Sleeping with the Enemy—totally evil
10. The kind-hearted drama teacher in Sleeping with the Enemy—too wussy to be evil
11. ZZ Top—yet to be determined (have you read the Dark Tower series?)
12. Santa Claus—not evil
13. Satan—quite evil (reportedly)
14. Kris Kristofferson as Whistler in the Blade series—not evil, followed by evil, and then not evil again
15. my dad—not evil

Lastly, here's a picture of Nick with his sinister new look. What do you think, should we get him an eyepatch?