Farewell, John Ashcroft. You'll be sorely missed
By neocon reformers, bums, and hacks.
While thousands daily make your "terror list,"
The real al Qaeda's slipping through the cracks.

You senatored and led the Show-Me State
Then lost the next election to a stiff.
But ruling things from DC was your fate,
And sanity was chucked right off a cliff.

You covered statues that dared bare their breasts,
Then rammed through Congress measures idiotic
That limit freedom, liberty, and jest,
And called those who dissent, "unpatriotic."

Although I laud the lifting of this curse,
What follows such as you is surely worse.