It all started because I'm planning to dress as Leela from Futurama for Halloween this year. I have been scouring Google Images for pictures, looking for examples of Leela's wardrobe. So far, I've pulled together the basic outfit—white tank top, black pants—and I've even made my own arm band thing out of gray/blue felt and Velcro. The hardest part will be figuring out how to fashion Leela's trademark single eyeball into something that will fit on my head and look right, but that will also be transparent enough for me to see through. But don't worry about it. I'm a smart girl, and I'm sure I'll figure it out.

In the process of doing this research, however, I uncovered more naughty pictures of our dear Leela than I could ever have imagined. These are mostly amateur drawings of Leela in sexy lingerie, in a variety of Barbarella-style outfits, or just plain-old buck naked. There is also a startling amount of fan fiction, detailing exactly what it is that Leela and Fry do behind closed spaceship doors (hint: it's not spot-cleaning the computer panels). I guess this shouldn't surprise me, but it does. The sheer volume of it, anyway.

Note to the perpetrators: What kind of lives do you people lead? Regular girlie pictures are not cutting it, and now you have to expand your repertoire to include cartoons? The Internet should be a place for fun, whimsy, and a smattering of factual information—not a place where people objectify animated women (this is the point where I pretend I've never heard of manga). It's just disturbing and wrong. Please stop it. You're giving me the creeps.

So I've decided that I'm done with all of this depravity. I'm done with the Internet. If these sickos are going to impinge on my sunny little cyberworld, I'm just going to take my ball and go home. I can make do without it, right? Right? I mean, I can probably still find that library card in the bottom of the utility drawer. I don't need to check the news sites every morning. And I'm sure it won't be a big deal when I can no longer instantly check the cast of any given movie on imdb.com (I can live without knowing whether the girl who played Cusack's ex-girlfriend in Better Off Dead is the same girl from the Highlander TV series). I guess I don't even need to do my blog anymore.

Okay, so yeah...I've decided. It's over, folks. Maybe I'll do one last post so you can see the completed costume, but that'll definitely be it. Then I'll be done. I can get on with the rest of my life, and all you disturbed citizens out there can resume your lurid speculations about the cast of Teen Titans.

Sickos.