Ladies, are you tired of going home night after night to an empty house? Are you tired of family members haranguing you on holidays, asking if you're "seeing anyone special"? Dating is difficult. We've all had those embarrassing conversations at the bar, and experienced the anxiety of memorizing a three-minute speech for speed-dating events. Who needs the headaches? Try my new program, called Find Love at the Voting Booth.

Find Love at the Voting Booth was developed by German researchers who were looking for a better way to meet men. The results were amazing! Rigorous tests and trials have proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that civic duty is sexy. This is because a woman exercising her right to vote secretes a type of pheromone that has a magnetizing effect on handsome men!

At one time, women who demonstrated intelligence and opinions were considered to be freaks of nature, and not very feminine to boot. But now those attitudes are more out of fashion than last year's handbags! Times have changed, and men are lining up to take home a smart woman who isn't afraid to cast her ballot for the candidate of her choice. I'm living proof that this system works. I met my husband at the polls,* and we've been happy ever since! Find Love at the Voting Booth can work for you, too.

What would you expect to pay for a program like this? A hundred dollars? Two hundred dollars? If you act now, you can participate in the Find Love at the Voting Booth program absolutely free! But wait, there's more! If you take advantage of my offer now, we'll also throw in a tasteful oval-shaped lapel sticker that announces your participation in the program and prolongs the magnetizing effects of the pheromone for up to seven days afterward! You can't beat that!

Act now, while supplies last! Offer expires November 2nd, 2004.

*We actually met several miles from the nearest polling station.