As you will recall, faithful reader, I’ve been lifting weights. The muscles are not huge yet, but they are rock-solid and well on their way to looking like Linda Hamilton’s. Since the initiation of this weight regimen, there has been a distinct improvement in my strength. I can now wrestle full-sized alligators to the ground.

The light was green. The petite woman in the Hummer approached the intersection, then stopped without explanation. I was waiting behind her, and I couldn’t maneuver around. I lightly tapped my horn. She did not seem to have heard. I honked a bit louder, and still she ignored me. Then I saw that she was warbling away on a cell phone. I waited a bit more, but my impatience got the better of me. I lured her outside by placing several Kate Spade handbags on the sidewalk. She flung open the door at once, and I could see that a thin layer of foam was visible around the edges of her mouth. Just then, I picked up the entire vehicle with my massive arms, and flung it into space. "Looks like you’ll have to walk to Nordstrom," I shouted, laughing maniacally. By the time she had fished out her kryptonite mace, I was through the intersection and out of her life forever.

Okay. So maybe I didn't really do this. But I wanted to.