I Would Like:

To host my own surrealist cooking show, which may or may not have anything to do with the preparation of food.

To invent a space-age weapon that could reduce a human being to a pile of cotton candy. It would have a candy corn setting, for safety.

To play old-school Nintendo with Bruce Campbell.

Mayonnaise, if it didn't make that awful sound when stirred.

You to purchase a 50-inch television and leave it outside my door.

Ray Liotta better if he wasn't always beating up someone named Karen in his films.

Some more coffee, please.